According to Pew Research Center data,1 about 22% of people over 40 in committed relationships first met their partner on a dating site or app. But what about the other 78%?
While the idea of meeting someone “IRL” (in real life for the non-Gen Zers) can be daunting, there are plenty of places to meet quality singles in person.
One major benefit of meeting face to face instead of behind a screen? You can immediately establish whether you have a connection, rather than spending hours getting to know each other online only to meet in person and realize you have no spark.
Plus, you get to analyze that person’s communication style, body language, and overall level of interest.
Want to meet someone IRL? Here are some of the best places to connect:
Golfing for a dating ‘hole in one’
Other places to meet men over 40
Golfing for a dating ‘hole in one’
One of the most popular ways to meet singles in real life is through golf — whether you’re actively learning and playing the sport or just attending tournaments. Golf is an excellent place to meet single, available men, often those who have the means and disposable income to play this relatively expensive sport.
I’ve had my hand at swinging the clubs surrounded by testosterone. It didn’t matter that I was terrible at it; many were delighted to see me making the effort as a solo single female. I opted for a few lessons, then made a beeline to the club restaurant, which served as a watering hole for groups who had completed their games.
With the ubiquitous social lubricant of alcohol, I found it easy to strike up conversations with avid players and would often use my bad golf game as an icebreaker.
Me asking for advice tended to make their faces light up, and once I got them started, it was easy to steer the conversation to other topics to gauge compatibility. While I never met a man I felt the urge to continue exploring, I couldn’t ignore the potential future opportunities.
Tennis…match?
Similarly, tennis is a great way to meet single men who value fitness. Like golf, tennis has a certain cachet, and the likelihood of meeting a fit, single, and upwardly mobile partner is high.
As a Southern California native, access to some sort of activity related to tennis is everywhere — especially the tournaments. I recently attended a tennis open in Desert Hot Springs, where I met people to chat with simply by grabbing a cocktail or food.
We sparked conversations over the progress of our favorite players and any drama surrounding specific matches. Tennis events often provide opportunities to mix and mingle after the matches are over.
If tennis is too strenuous or not your cup of tea, one of the most popular new sports, especially for older adults, is pickleball. As of 2021, the majority of pickleball players were 55, with an average age of 38. From 2014 to 2021, pickleball has nearly doubled in popularity, and six out of 10 pickleball players are male.
Wine tasting
As a resident of a city with more than 51 wineries, I can tell you that these places are a bastion of socializing and fun. Besides meeting someone who loves wine and the finer things in life, wineries often host a variety of events like concerts, wine pairing classes, and wine education.
These are just a few locales I’ve tried out for myself, but others have reported success in finding viable romantic partners at MeetUp events where participants share a common interest (e.g., running, hiking, gaming). Some other popular in-person opportunities include:
- Fitness classes: Yoga, pilates, or spin classes can be great social environments.
- Farmers' markets: Shop for fresh produce and strike up conversations with other visitors.
- Comedy clubs: Share laughs and connect with others who have a good sense of humor.
- Workshops and seminars: Learn something new and meet people with similar interests.
- Festivals and fairs: Explore local culture and meet a diverse group of people.
- Travel groups: Join a group tour or adventure trip to bond with fellow travelers.
Meeting someone with a common interest has its benefits. You can immediately establish if there is chemistry and connection between you and get a better sense of a person’s personality and communication style.
But there is a downside. Virtually every opportunity to meet a potential romantic connection depends on quickly establishing whether the person is single and available. Many people attending these kinds of events are already coupled, especially if you live in the suburbs or country, where the marriage rate is higher.2
If you still prefer to meet people online, check out my list of the best dating sites for people over 40 and our reviews of top dating sites:
Other places to meet men over 40:
From Wealthysinglemommy.com founder Emma Johnson:
Your kids’ schools and social networks are a goldmine! Plenty of moms I know have met nice guys who are either dads or love kids through the natural age-appropriate network of similarly educated parents: Dads at sports events, afternoon pickup and event volunteering, coaches, teachers and cute fathers at the playground. Lots of divorces and breakups happening, lots to talk about.
Confirms Erin Michelle Silber: “I met my boyfriend of almost 6 years at a PTA back to school parents social. We had a friend in common.”
Via the Millionaire Single Moms Facebook group:
“Community events. I volunteer with organizations that mean a lot to me. The positive side to stuff like this is that it fills your cup. So if you don't meet anyone you still will feel fulfilled and you may end up in a situation like me where dating just falls lower down on the priority list. If not, you're bound to meet someone.” — Jannell Johnson
“Local sports clubs — running, softball, pickleball.” — Marissa Rose
“I just returned from a Virgin Voyages cruise and met lots of single men my age (43). Handsome ones I'd add.” — Tiffany Lambert
Via daters on Reddit:
Singles on Reddit also shared these ideas for meeting in real life:
Also, check out our list of apps to meet friends.
